So I feel like today was a big step in my life. I’ve been dealing with the unfamiliarity of growing up; being an adult. It’s so weird to me when I am in class and the professor says, “we’re all adults in here.” because I still feel like the young kid in the back. I am only 18. Then it hit me about ten minutes ago; when I applied for the MTTC basic skills test to become a teacher. I am an adult. I am an adult trying to be a kid. It can’t be that way anymore. I have to step over into adulthood and let go of childhood. I have to learn that life isn’t fair, and that money doesn’t just appear so I have to use it wisely. I have to learn that there isn’t always going to be someone to pay my phone bill or my car insurance for me, and I have to take care of that myself. It’s good, but it’s bad at the same time. I don’t wanna grow up… >.<
Today is the first day of classes! I’m nervous because I never got to go up to campus to find all of my classes first. I’m tired because I couldn’t sleep last night from being nervous. And yet, I’m excited! I finally found my passion; history. I will be teaching it to middle school/high schoolers for the rest of my life. Today is a step closer to graduating, and a step closer to the rest of my life <3
You ever have those days where you just want to lay in bed all day long? I do and have been for the past few weeks. Mostly it’s because I am exhausted from my diet. See I am bulimic and have been for about two years. I have been struggling to get over it, which is why I am able to admit to people that I am bulimic.
Well this morning when I woke up, I decided that the only true way I was going to get over this disease was if I could gain self control over what I eat. It isn’t going to happen over night; it’s going to take a lot of work every single day. However, I am going to do it. I have set up times that I can eat, and I can not eat out of those times. This will help me from feeling guilty.
Once I have the self control that I need, I will then continue my weight loss journey healthily. I can then be the happy goofy girl that you see in the picture above. In the mean time, I am going to take it day by day, and run. I didnt mention it, but I LOVE running. It’s something I took up in Feburary. I plan on running in a race in October. =)
Good morning! This is my first official blog where I say anything about myself. Ok, so to make my following blogs make any sense, I have to say a few things about myself first. Number 1, I am a christian, so you may read things that are relevant to that. Number 2, I am bulimic, so you may read things that refer to that. Number 3, I have a boyfriend that I have been with for two and a half years, so I’ll probably talk about him as well. ok. I think those are the top three things so hopefully what I write about will make sense now.
my bed =)
We all have secrets.
Things that nobody knows; and nobody would ever guess.
They weigh heavy on our hearts, and tear at our souls.
We are slaves to them, these secrets.
They have us on strings, choosing our movements.
We try hard to fight back, but it’s no use;
They’re already too strong.
So instead of fighting, we give in.
We settle into the numbess of familiarity.
We walk around like the controlled puppets we are,
with a painted smile on our face.
Inside we are dying to tell someone of our secrets,
but because of fear, we can’t.
Our secrets are right above us, watching us,
controlling our movements and words.
We all think that everyone else has it better;
That we are the only one with problems.
Remember that your not the only one.
We all have secrets,
and those “perfect” people, they’re on strings too.